You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
