My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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