I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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