'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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