gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
