Taylor Swift is so right about you.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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