i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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