You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
