haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
