I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You are a genius and a whore.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
