i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
