Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
