he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
