And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
