only if we run a train.
done.
the day after is always just damage control
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
