where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
