will power is for people who don't want to get laid
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
