Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
