Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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