my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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