garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
