You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
