You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
