dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
