how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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