He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
