how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
