You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
