Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
