mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
