You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
