You can't special order awesome
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Enjoy the penises
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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