he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
