i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
