Porn is love you can see.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
