I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
