Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
