You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She announced her abortion via fbk
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Come on in and take your pants off
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