Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
