It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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