PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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