So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
