Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
they're like a gay fantastic four
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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