One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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