Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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