so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize