hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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