Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
