I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
