I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
